that dreaded F word

You ever have the feeling you come across people who don’t always want your best interest? That feeling that sometimes the universe throws a wrench in the waterworks by making you run into people who *clearly* put on a game face in your face, and then behind closed doors snigger or.. at the worst, go out of your way to make you feel less than the stellar person you believe you are? And then do you feel that you frankly couldn’t really care what these people think, because in the end, their issues are what it is.. *their* issues, so why should *their* issues ruin *your* day?

And then do you feel that sometimes, no matter how wonderful someone is to you, *something* in that person rubs you the wrong way, and they bring out the worst in you? And no matter how much you try, that you cannot shake this person away, until one day you wonder what the fuss was all about in the first place?

And sometimes do you have the feeling that you could be, to steal from Prince/Symbol, the most beautiful girl in the world? Sometimes your hair is so brilliant and your eyes sparkle with the promise of love and future and life and your heart is filled with hope and happiness even in the most desperate and hopeless of times, that you simply do not know how to accept all that except just… accept? And then the very next day, the whole feeling just subsides and you just wake up and go “huh?”

And sometimes do you just feel that you are living in a sea of people who are transiting through life like a case of sea anemones but for the sake of survival, you really want to relate with and fit in, but you cannot because you’re not that predatory nor as smart as the series of sea anemones that you follow, but just a small fish in a big pond who, it looks like, may never ever ever just make it because it all looks like an infinite abyss?  (I’m thinking of Dory right now, from Finding Nemo  )

And sometimes that feeling, on a good day, when emotions are marked by an euphoric feeling of exquisite triumph, when… well, just because things are looking fantastic?

Ever feel accepted and rejected on the same day, by people who you know, but they pretend they don’t know you? Ever feel that you have to learn many lessons on the same day because you need to get past the overwhelming feeling of hope followed by loss, so you can learn to look past it, to be the bigger person that you are meant to be, to learn to laugh at irony and to accept things as you see it?

Nope, I haven’t had any of these feelings 

But… if by any chance, you went through all of this, remember this:

Just do your best. Stay at the present.  Sometimes a little sorry goes a long way. Sometimes a little I miss you changes everything. Sometimes, when you feel a million and one things and nothing makes sense, just feel…fully.

Laugh, cry, hurt, fly, shine, fall, heal, get back up, play, work, live.

Sometimes, like the verbs above in a sentence-less phrase, after all the feelings, you should just…. do.