on second chances

You ever feel like you’ve wanted a second chance with that someone?

That maybe that first experience was far too short the first time around, and isn’t it unfortunate that for whatever reason, you didn’t make that much of an impression on him that first time around for him to want to see you again, but somehow in a twist of fate, he did a number on you that you would warrant want a second, third, fourth, a lifetime chance with him?

I mean, they say it’s supposed to be a numbers game, right? So why can’t it be a numbers game with that same person, but then why is there a plot twist because that same person doesn’t even know you’re alive?

And to make matters worse, why is that sometimes wishes do come true, and then one lovely evening, you DO happen to get a second chance with that person, and to further make things more interesting, wouldn’t it be funny if you got a second chance from that person exactly 2 years later? The chances of remembering the Higher Powers at this point is high. You *KNEW* there was something there the first time around, see you KNEW IT! Maybe it was bad timing, 2 years ago. Maybe this time things will be better. SECOND CHANCES, third, fourth, even a fifth! You know at this point that someone is watching you, because why else would you meet that someone again, exactly 2 years later and your heart is fluttering like it was, same beats 2 years ago?! See, you were right all along. NOW, you can set things right! Full steam ahead.

So you go all out this time around. You get excited. You practise in front of the mirror. You make sure to avoid on the broken eggshells that you did before.  Na-uh! This time, you’ll mesmerize him.

And then, like a very slow deck-of-cards that has just been flicked,  you begin to have this slow realization or.. shall we say, understanding, of the Higher Powers’ method to madness… you realize why it was only limited to first chances.

Maybe you needed that second chance, 2 years later, not to convince him that you were worth it and could be an important part of his life. No, maybe there’s another reason why second chances drop. Maybe you needed that time to gain a deeper sense of who you are, not of him. Maybe he wasn’t the one that needed convincing. Maybe the convincing was meant for you. Maybe you needed to convince yourself that you are far, far better… than just a first chance, one random night.

Maybe you are now stronger after 2 years, because you come to the conclusion that you should not be limited to just a first chance. That you are more than a mere encounter. Maybe you are meant to be more than an anecdote, more than just a starry-filled night. Maybe you’re actually a story. Lets go higher. Maybe you’re a best-selling novel of grand proportions. Made of night, and day, and sometimes those starry nights have comets and meteor showers and fireworks, and sometimes those nights can be quiet and foggy and moonlit as well. Maybe those nights have stories for you and him, and they are also stories that people tell one another. Maybe you’re not a gimmick like a first chance, or a happening like a 1001 nights of stories to keep someone entertained. Maybe you are not meant to be second chance, or a third, or a fourth, or a lifetime.

Maybe you’re meant to be more, a story, a novel, a best seller, anything but a first chance…. but with someone else.