i met someone the other day who said something that i've heard many times while living here in dubai: there must be something in the water here to make people so h****.
i wish people would stop making assumptions.. isn't that supposed to be the mother of all fuck-ups?
in a way, i guess thats unavoidable. it's human nature to assume, which, inadvertently, leads to judging. i love how everyone says, no, i don't judge... but that seems to be one of the biggest lies in the history of mankind. i, for one, am known to judge. how can you not? thats like stating that you don't have an opinion. and we all know everyone's got those :-/ or it's like making a claim that you don't think, or care.
i come across a lot of people like these lately. when once upon a time, i would've taken it to myself to set them straight with some verbal thrashing, or a mild judgement call in return, nowadays i feel my age has gotten the better of me. now i just roll my eyes, figure out if this is a battle that i'm keen to fight or put up with, wonder if this person is worth the time for me to make them see things from my perspective, and once all the factors are taken into consideration, i decide if i should fight the good fight, or just let it go.
more often that not, i realize.... no, i decide... i decide that it's just not worth it.
so i let it go. bygones. sometimes its a case of forgive and forget, and sometimes its a case of just forget.
but there are some things that are closer to my heart, when it comes to judgement calls. i'm this close to calling people on it.
except then i remember that the most precious thing i own, besides my heart, is my integrity.
and if i call someone on this, they might think i'm "crazy". and while i'm perfectly fine being labelled as crazy because that's the highest form of flattery to an artist, it's not a particularly attractive label if you're a single woman who is looking forward to spending her golden oldies with a houseful of stray cats.
as a single woman, who's looking for love in all the wrong places, sometimes i wish i was judged on a more positive level, to put it simply, by similar single men, when it comes to what i'm looking for in my life. i don't seem to have this problem with married friends, women friends, older people...because let's face it, they all feel sorry for us!
i feel that sometimes the perspectives given to us are so screwed (pun not intended) or askew. just because i'm a woman, and i'm nice to you, (not to be mistaken for flirting), you assume i am a woman who is of a certain character (with flaws)...
....when the reality could not be farther from the truth.
if only it were possible for me to show you.
i'd love to meet someone one day, who will have a heart as big as the hole in mine.
i'd love to laugh with someone who will see me for everything i am, and still accept me for everything i am not.
if only it were possible for you to see me.
but it's not. years of beliefs, sometimes doctrined and sometimes accumulated, guarantee that there will be assumptions made.
and assumptions are the mother of all fuck-ups, are they not?
so things will stay the same. i will do it. you will do it. we will all do it. no doubt, i will be just as bad as the rest. i will keep on assuming, i will keep on judging. until one day, i will decide that it's just not worth it anymore.
and then, i will let you go.
updated: the artwork above is from a mug that i had purchased during a trip. i tried to look up the piece online, to give due credit to the artist, and to ask permission. if you know of this piece, i would really appreciate it!
the wings are from a prop of wings, with tweaking in photoshop to get the look that i wanted.
for more behind the scenes, please have a look at my facebook page.