that dreaded F word

You ever have the feeling you come across people who don’t always want your best interest? That feeling that sometimes the universe throws a wrench in the waterworks by making you run into people who *clearly* put on a game face in your face, and then behind closed doors snigger or.. at the worst, go out of your way to make you feel less than the stellar person you believe you are? And then do you feel that you frankly couldn’t really care what these people think, because in the end, their issues are what it is.. *their* issues, so why should *their* issues ruin *your* day?

And then do you feel that sometimes, no matter how wonderful someone is to you, *something* in that person rubs you the wrong way, and they bring out the worst in you? And no matter how much you try, that you cannot shake this person away, until one day you wonder what the fuss was all about in the first place?

And sometimes do you have the feeling that you could be, to steal from Prince/Symbol, the most beautiful girl in the world? Sometimes your hair is so brilliant and your eyes sparkle with the promise of love and future and life and your heart is filled with hope and happiness even in the most desperate and hopeless of times, that you simply do not know how to accept all that except just… accept? And then the very next day, the whole feeling just subsides and you just wake up and go “huh?”

And sometimes do you just feel that you are living in a sea of people who are transiting through life like a case of sea anemones but for the sake of survival, you really want to relate with and fit in, but you cannot because you’re not that predatory nor as smart as the series of sea anemones that you follow, but just a small fish in a big pond who, it looks like, may never ever ever just make it because it all looks like an infinite abyss?  (I’m thinking of Dory right now, from Finding Nemo  )

And sometimes that feeling, on a good day, when emotions are marked by an euphoric feeling of exquisite triumph, when… well, just because things are looking fantastic?

Ever feel accepted and rejected on the same day, by people who you know, but they pretend they don’t know you? Ever feel that you have to learn many lessons on the same day because you need to get past the overwhelming feeling of hope followed by loss, so you can learn to look past it, to be the bigger person that you are meant to be, to learn to laugh at irony and to accept things as you see it?

Nope, I haven’t had any of these feelings 

But… if by any chance, you went through all of this, remember this:

Just do your best. Stay at the present.  Sometimes a little sorry goes a long way. Sometimes a little I miss you changes everything. Sometimes, when you feel a million and one things and nothing makes sense, just feel…fully.

Laugh, cry, hurt, fly, shine, fall, heal, get back up, play, work, live.

Sometimes, like the verbs above in a sentence-less phrase, after all the feelings, you should just…. do.

on life, liberty & the pursuit of happy soliloquies

This selfie project was in the backburner for a while, but it really hit home during my recent trip to Spain. I decided I had to start somewhere, so why not start with where I was, with what I had, and with what I was feeling. So I started in Spain, with a camera, and armed with the plethora of emotions I was carrying.

I had to come to terms recently with the fact that while my need to live a passionate life, to connect with people is a beautiful idea, it may not always be two-sided.

And since I’ve always lived in la-la land in my head, the reality that life doesn’t always work out the way we expected it to be has been a bit hard to accept. But life goes on, and eventually, we have to come to terms with the fact that this is what it is, and it’s time to embrace the reality, and live it up. Break traditions, pursue life, enjoy conversations.. even its all by yourself!

So this project is a mini coming-of-age self-portraiture project – from a stage of cautious apprehension to a period of happy acceptance… of my state of being.

Reviewing Nokia Pureview 808

A while ago, I had the good fortune of running into one of the Product Managers of Nokia. He graciously allowed me to test out the whopping 41 MP sensor of their camera phone, the Nokia Pureview 808.

With my Spanish trip looming around the corner, I asked them if I could take the phone for my trip. I do not have a point-and-shoot camera, and I figured this “photographer’s camera phone” would be an added benefit when I didn’t want to lug around my travel DSLR (a Canon 500D, 15MP) with zoom lens. The good people of Nokia obliged, and off I went.

Instead of going on and on about the camera, I’m going to let the pictures speak for itself.

There was no compensation from Nokia for this, it is simply an assessment from a photographer’s point of view, so I am allowed to list the pros and the cons for this camera.

I present to you, a slideshow of the images taken by this.

Side note: the first 8 images are a slide-by-slide comparison… I’ve labelled the DSLR and the Pureview photos. I wanted to see if the quality suffered when compared with a DSLR. You be the judge. I couldn’t tell the difference, if I didnt label them.

The rest of the 14 images were all Pureview pics.

So, what do you think?

Editing was done on the photos in the same way the DSLR images were edited.. increasing contrast, saturation, so you can see the comparisons side-by-side.

Here are the pros for this phone in terms of image quality:

• it has 3 modes: Automatic/Scenes/Creative – Creative mode in a nutshell is like Manual Setting on a DSLR.. includes customized settings (C1,C2,C3), Self-timer modes, bracketing, black and white, sepia tones, flash modes, EVEN an ND filter! For those that want a more point-and-shoot …auto mode, its SO EASY! Scenes mode have Macro function, it is great, I love this feature.

• Image resolution: its not a 41 MP sensor for nothing. We’re talking 8 MP if you go full resolution. So there are no pixelation if you zoom in a picture. Unlike other phones, the picture looks great on the phone screen AND when you download it to your laptop.

• Even if your phone is locked, you can access the camera via the camera button on the side of the phone.

Here are the cons for this phone in terms of image quality:

• Found the response time for the focus point to have a teeny weeny lag.

• Cannot change/adjust the aperture

• Night pictures not as excellent as expected (unless you’re in Auto mode).

• Phone is a little big/heavy…. but then, it does have 41 MP sensor!

I also took a video overlooking scenic Ronda with this camera.. it blew my mind. Hands down its way better than a point-and-shoot, like a DSLR. But it was 39 seconds long, and a whopping 98.9 MB.. so I couldnt upload it to this website as its too large. If you’d like to see it, just shoot me an email.

There are camera post-processing tools, (cropping, increasing saturation, contrast), instantaneous sharing on social media (so I was uploading my videos on my facebook right away).

So, as a photographer, would I recommend this camera phone?

Just LOOK at the image quality! It’s DSLR quality, so YES!
Absolutely ZERO loss in pixelation, so YES.
My battery lasted for THREE days, so YES.
Creative Mode with DSLR features, so YES.
Superb HD video, with 16GB built-in memory, so YES.

I even put the cameraphone in a sealed waterproof bag, and took beach photos from the water… and it worked like a charm. You can’t do that with a DSLR 

So yes, added benefits means this is a great camera when you don’t want to lug around a huge DSLR!