of winners and losers

ive been hell bent on mood swings lately. 

that's gotta change.  i can't live like this.

i'm becoming a tortured artist, and i'm not even trying! 

at the rate that my melancholia comes and goes, i should be exhibiting in NY or something, geez! 

right now, Dubai will have to do! 

I took part in a group exhibition, and one of my images got selected. 

Specifically, this one:


on a high

on a high

The online gallery can be viewed here. 

Congratulations have been in order, but I still feel I have such a long long way to go. But the best part is, thank goodness I get joy out of this. Otherwise I'd be a tad screwed!


I've also decided that I need to actually execute the images that are eating away at my head.. and let them eat other people instead!!  I need to stop keeping all these things inside me bottled up, for fear of people reading that I'm a few lettuces short of a picnic and sending over the men in the white coats.

It's time.  

I made this picture a while back.

a beautiful struggle

a beautiful struggle

It's also how I was feeling for a long time, before the exhibition. Like a rat in a sinking ship, struggling to keep afloat.  Either with photography or just struggling with my demons silently. I wanted to put a little robot man, because that is how society ingrains it in you.. you must conform, you must do this, this is how we do things around here in Dubai, this is how you're supposed to act, just like a robot.. Nobody just gets the fact that I don't want to be like everyone else here in Dubai! I don't care about super expensive clothes or super fancy cars or partying and drinking all night. Yes I look like crap and yes I dress like shit. Been there, done that, didn't make me miserable, but didn't elevate my life either! So, DONT CARE, thank you very much! Just like me for me, or leave!

The help and support is also represented here.. but, stubborn, proud me.. I refuse to take it. I know I can get by on my own. There's also the little fact that I tend to have high expectations from myself and others, which eventually turns out to be a VERY bad idea. So this has sort of done a 180 on me, in that I just refuse to accept help. Which maybe is also a VERY bad idea as I'm pretty sure I'll never get anywhere in life if I keep up with that attitude.

I initially had plans to do a grandoise attempt of this picture, but after a few failures, I decided to take a different attempt at this, so I decided to do it with some of my miniatures collection.

I LOVE miniatures, this project already has me super excited.  :)